Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
Through the years the motion picture industry has dedicated itself to alleviating the cares and worries of the everyday world through the medium of comedy.
One of the leading exponents of this art, a man who has given more laughter and joy to people the world over, is none other than Charlie Chaplin.
We shall now show you one of the finest examples of his art.
You have just seen one of the finest examples of Hollywood art.
The amateur too is dedicated to helping people forget the cares of the day.
It is with the greatest pleasure and the utmost humility that we offer you now the hour of comedy.
This for you and this for your papaya.
Yeah, papaya always got the best part of everything.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Nice kitty kitty kitty kitty.
Oh, nice kitty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now a word from our sponsor.
If you're looking for something, don't ask the sages.
Just take it out of the yellow pages.
Who? What? When? Where? Get it from the yellow pages.
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Now that is what I call a good film.
Well, moviemaking is fun.
A story must be chosen.
A shooting script written.
A cast assembled.
A cast assembled.
This will give you some idea on how we worked.
Okay, everybody, on the set.
Get in here.
Get in here.
Get in here.
Yeah.
Mary, would you listen just a minute? Mary, for heaven's sake, I told you over and over.
Can't you listen? Go ahead, pick on me.
Just walk out.
Yes, dear.
Uh -huh, uh -huh.
That's fine, Mary.
John, John, will you please put that girly magazine down and get back to the yellow pages? That's just like them.
All right, all right.
Now go over to the door.
Look slightly around to see that they're out of the way.
Then come back here.
Now you try it.
Okay, uh -huh, uh -huh.
That's fine, John.
Fine.
Don, I'll start turning the pages.
Go faster, Don.
Faster.
I can't.
Okay, then, wet your finger.
Go faster.
Hey, Esther, I got an idea for you.
Why don't you - Shut up.
Come on, Don.
Pants, pants.
I can't do this any faster.
Yes, you can.
Can, come on, Tiger.
Come on, Tiger.
Eleanor, come on.
Get ready.
Eleanor.
Eleanor, a little more gracefully, please.
Eleanor, you have the grace of an ox.
But Esther, it's so hard to get up.
Well, that always has been her problem.
She can never get up till the sun shines in her bedroom, and her bedroom faces west.
Funny.
Eleanor, honey.
Honey, look, come up gracefully.
Oh, my thighs.
Now, wait a minute, Eleanor.
Why don't we let Don take your hands and help you up? Okay, go ahead.
Hold it, Eleanor.
I'll tell you how to do this.
Do you want to direct? No, no, no.
Then, shut up.
Okay, let's do it that way.
Don, you take your hand and help her out of the yellow pages.
Now, Don, look and throw like this.
I can't throw it that way.
A woman does it that way.
Okay, so do it, Manish.
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine.
Eleanor, accidentally.
Don, I'll go after her.
Eleanor, faster.
Don, faster, faster.
Don, faster.
Don't catch her.
Okay, Bob.
Fade out.
This is a take.
Yeah.
Movie making is fun.
You can have your sweet roll now.
Yeah.
Bye.
Uh -huh.
This brings back happy memories.
To my friend.
This one.
This one was the best of all.
My dearest, dearest friend.
I'll write to him.
I'll write to him now.
Now.
Okay.
Okay.
It's a blustery evening, but in here it's cozy and comfortable.
I'm sitting before a nice open fire with my typewriter.
Sort of half listening to the radio and sipping a nice, very dry, double martini.
Okay.
I only wish you were here, but since you are not, the least I can do is to toast your health and happiness.
So time out old pal while I've been my elbow to you.
Guys, let's get in war.
Shucks.
Shucks.
Shucks.
Shucks.
Shucks.
Shucks.
Shucks.
Shucks.
Shucks.
Shucks.
This darn thing is out of order.
So I just have to tell you without writing.
I just took time out to mix another martini, and then I thought of all the time I would waste if I went out to mix another drink every once in a while.
So I just made me a picture of my reenies.
Besides my reenies is a great drink.
Oh, I drink them all day long.
For some reason they never seem to affect me in the slightest.
The greatest thing in the whole world is friendship.
And believe me pal, you are the greatest pal in anybody ever had.
Remember all the swell times we had together? The wonderful camping trips.
I'll never forget the time you put the ditch, conquering my slipping bag.
Ha ha, boy how I love.
Never just to stink out of it.
I did wish money anyway.
Still after fighting once in a while.
No, not so much as I used to.
But still you are my best old pal.
I only wish you were here old pal.
Help me drink these my reenies.
Because they are simply delicious.
Pardon me while I lift my flesh to your good health once more.
Because you are the best pal I ever had.
Why a pal with two dirty things like putting a skunk in another pal's sleeping bag? Turned away now.
That was your loozy thing to do.
Wasn't a darn bit funny.
Still stinks.
And if you think it's funny, you can stick your nose in that slipping bag and stay there.
I'll take your cup.
Oh, kindness yet.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, there you are.
I'll take your cup.
Oh, there you are.
good aristocratic
