WEBVTT

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Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Through the years the motion picture industry has

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dedicated itself to alleviating the cares and worries of the everyday world through the medium of comedy.

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One of the leading exponents of this art, a man who has given more laughter and joy to people the world over, is none other than Charlie Chaplin.

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We shall now show you one of the finest examples of his art.

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You have just seen one of the finest examples of Hollywood art. The amateur too is dedicated to helping people forget the cares of the day.

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It is with the greatest pleasure and the utmost humility that we offer you now the hour of comedy.

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This for you and this for your papaya.

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Yeah, papaya always got the best part of everything.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Nice kitty kitty kitty kitty.

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Oh, nice kitty.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Now a word from our sponsor.

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If you're looking for something, don't ask the sages.

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Just take it out of the yellow pages.

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Who?

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What?

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When?

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Where?

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Get it from the yellow pages.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Now that is what I call a good film.

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Well, moviemaking is fun.

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A story must be chosen.

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A shooting script written.

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A cast assembled.

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A cast assembled.

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This will give you some idea on how we worked.

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Okay, everybody, on the set.

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Get in here.

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Get in here.

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Get in here.

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Yeah.

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Mary, would you listen just a minute?

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Mary, for heaven's sake, I told you over and over.

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Can't you listen?

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Go ahead, pick on me.

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Just walk out.

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Yes, dear.

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Uh-huh, uh-huh.

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That's fine, Mary.

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John, John, will you please put that girly magazine down and get back to the yellow pages?

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That's just like them.

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All right, all right.

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Now go over to the door.

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Look slightly around to see that they're out of the way.

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Then come back here.

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Now you try it.

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Okay, uh-huh, uh-huh.

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That's fine, John.

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Fine.

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Don, I'll start turning the pages.

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Go faster, Don.

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Faster.

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I can't.

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Okay, then, wet your finger.

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Go faster.

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Hey, Esther, I got an idea for you.

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Why don't you-

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Shut up.

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Come on, Don.

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Pants, pants.

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I can't do this any faster.

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Yes, you can.

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Can, come on, Tiger.

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Come on, Tiger.

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Eleanor, come on.

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Get ready.

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Eleanor.

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Eleanor, a little more gracefully, please.

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Eleanor, you have the grace of an ox.

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But Esther, it's so hard to get up.

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Well, that always has been her problem.

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She can never get up till the sun shines in her bedroom,

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and her bedroom faces west.

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Funny.

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Eleanor, honey.

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Honey, look, come up gracefully.

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Oh, my thighs.

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Now, wait a minute, Eleanor.

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Why don't we let Don take your hands and help you up?

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Okay, go ahead.

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Hold it, Eleanor.

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I'll tell you how to do this.

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Do you want to direct?

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No, no, no.

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Then, shut up.

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Okay, let's do it that way.

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Don, you take your hand and help her out of the yellow pages.

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Now, Don, look and throw like this.

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I can't throw it that way.

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A woman does it that way.

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Okay, so do it, Manish.

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Okay, that's fine.

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That's fine.

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Eleanor, accidentally.

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Don, I'll go after her.

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Eleanor, faster.

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Don, faster, faster.

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Don, faster.

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Don't catch her.

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Okay, Bob.

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Fade out.

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This is a take.

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Yeah.

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Movie making is fun.

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You can have your sweet roll now.

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Yeah.

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Bye.

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Uh-huh.

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This brings back happy memories.

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To my friend.

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This one.

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This one was the best of all.

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My dearest, dearest friend.

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I'll write to him.

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I'll write to him now.

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Now.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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It's a blustery evening, but in here it's cozy and comfortable.

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I'm sitting before a nice open fire with my typewriter.

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Sort of half listening to the radio and sipping a nice, very dry, double martini.

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Okay.

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I only wish you were here, but since you are not, the least I can do is to toast your health and happiness.

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So time out old pal while I've been my elbow to you.

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Guys, let's get in war.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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Shucks.

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This darn thing is out of order.

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So I just have to tell you without writing.

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I just took time out to mix another martini, and then I thought of all the time I would waste if I went out to mix another drink every once in a while.

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So I just made me a picture of my reenies.

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Besides my reenies is a great drink.

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Oh, I drink them all day long.

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For some reason they never seem to affect me in the slightest.

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The greatest thing in the whole world is friendship.

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And believe me pal, you are the greatest pal in anybody ever had.

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Remember all the swell times we had together?

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The wonderful camping trips.

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I'll never forget the time you put the ditch, conquering my slipping bag.

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Ha ha, boy how I love.

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Never just to stink out of it.

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I did wish money anyway.

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Still after fighting once in a while.

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No, not so much as I used to.

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But still you are my best old pal.

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I only wish you were here old pal.

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Help me drink these my reenies.

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Because they are simply delicious.

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Pardon me while I lift my flesh to your good health once more.

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Because you are the best pal I ever had.

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Why a pal with two dirty things like putting a skunk in another pal's sleeping bag?

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Turned away now.

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That was your loozy thing to do.

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Wasn't a darn bit funny.

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Still stinks.

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And if you think it's funny, you can stick your nose in that slipping bag and stay there.

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I'll take your cup.

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Oh, kindness yet.

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Oh, there you are.

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Oh, there you are.

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Oh, there you are.

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Oh, there you are.

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Oh, there you are.

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Oh, there you are.

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Oh, there you are.

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Oh, there you are.

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I'll take your cup.

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Oh, there you are.

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good

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aristocratic