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You

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You

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I'm getting a little worried now about my ear

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There is quite a deep passage in the ear. The ear leads to the mouth and nose and to the brain as well. I

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Little while ago

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Not a mud clod. It was a striped object soft like putty but silver gray with white bands

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It was embedded. I could not hear well for several days before I found it

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Now I have arranged some mirrors on stands in such a way that I can peer into my ear while looking straight ahead

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Always to I keep one eye on my floor and one on my walls

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My apartment you see is infested with silverfish

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Sometimes I wonder if one hasn't crawled into me. That is the reason for my concern about my ear. I

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Remember a cartoon character called the silverfish king

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He was a diabolical little fellow who always smiled at the audience and puffed up his body after each cartoon and

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As he smiled orange poison juice would slide out of the side of his mouth

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Onto the H in the end

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Often he took a special kind of cheese and shoved it into the noses of sleeping humans attempting to murder them

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Even so he was extremely funny

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His greatest triumph was escaping from a bathtub a miraculous feat which no other silverfish could manage

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He did it by clinging to one smear of bathtub scum after another leaping this way and that where the traction was greatest

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Ultimately finding his way up and over the top one split second before a large old woman would thrust her fist from behind the shower

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Curtain and twirl on the boiling hot tap water bringing down upon the heads of the inferior silverfish a

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Torrent of waves which drove them brutally into the drain of death

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Waiting always on the bath mat beside the tub was fang ah the most beautiful of female silverfish

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She would open wide her glazed brown eyes and bend her shimmering antennae forward in a beckoning gesture

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the silverfish King would leap atop her back and she would carry him into the wall crack to the old familiar strains of

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Oh, you red hot firecrackers. Oh you red hot firecrackers. Oh you red hot firecrackers

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the silverfish King's theme song

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When I was nine years old I went to see my favorite silverfish King cartoon ten times

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Now it seems almost too horrible to relate

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The King had crawled upon the stubby chin of a heartless politician

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Standing ready on the wall was a legion of 100 lesser fish led by the fiercely plumed fang ah

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But the King motioned them back with a subtle twist of his anus

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Then he scurried headlong across the cheek and through the stubble of the sleeping victim entering ultimately the forbidden cavity

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Suddenly we became the King saw through his eyes and felt his terror as the index finger of the man like a guided missile

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Angled in with crushing force

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But it's the man not the King who cries out as the impact of finger against bug

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Pops the King through the tiny opening in the tympanic membrane and into the inner ear a

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Scream echoes up the long connecting cavity from the nose and mouth as the King four legs broken

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clings tightly to the delicate bones of the inner ear the hammer the anvil and the stirrup and

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Manages with his last ounce of strength to flutter his mangled feelers against the sensitive tissues

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It is just enough to drive the devil into the man's already guilt-ridden brain

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Now there is a quick series of steps a sudden crash of glass and the long

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10-story trip down to the deadly pavement below the evil career of the heartless politician has been ended

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single-handedly by the King but what of the King himself

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Blood oozes from his abdomen

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Orange poison juice slides out of the side of his mouth and we are led to believe that he too is dead

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But of course he was not

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It was not long before once again

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He was a top the pretty back of the reckless beauty fang a riding into the crack of the wall

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Now it is time for bed it is time to set the clock and to turn out the lights

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One last look in the mirrors I

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Do not sleep very near a wall

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My bed I've placed upon several porcelain tables, which I keep spotlessly clean

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I do not live in a 10-story building and I am NOT a cigar smoking politician

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Still I am uneasy about the idea of a silver fish getting into my ear

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And then there is one other possibility I

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Remember that I once had a kit to make miniature putty silver fish. They were silver gray with white bands. I

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