WEBVTT

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You

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You

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You

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You

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I

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Think it goes away nothing goes away

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Nothing ever goes away

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I mean

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Nothing ever ever goes away. Mr. Newton was a man who saw it's impossible to beat the law

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Oh

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Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. I am your servant

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Your Santa Claus a worker of near miracles. Oh, yes a miracle worker a reader of mine

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All your secret desires all your hopes all your needs all all everything you ever dreamed you wanted I

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Know and I I can satisfy

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I

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Can even make you think you dreamed and I can satisfy those dreams

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Yes, almost in there. I can make what you want what you desire

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Kid get off my stage

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I work alone

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Yes, thank you ladies. Thank you. Thank you. Nothing nothing at all

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Please get get off stage. I'll get the kid off the stage. Oh, look look look people nothing under my coat

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Nothing up my sleeves nothing in under my hat

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Except my ingenious brain to think of things to make for you

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I'm gonna get off the stage. All right, you asked for it

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That never happened before ladies and gentlemen, I forgot my magical my father told me never to use this but

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I

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Went up to my handkerchief

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People do you mind if I take a break for a minute to satisfy my thirst

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Oh

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Firm so compact so convenient and so

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Indestructible oh

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Pretty hard. Oh no muss no fuss just an easy flip top open

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Very easy watch you get the hand

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How about you better get the wire clippers

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Right well down the hatch

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That's what I can do for you the luxury the the convenience when you finish with it you just throw it away

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Oh

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Oh

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Every great magician must have an assistant to sort of help him display his talents, you know

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And so I would like to present to you my protege my indispensable aid

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Say hello to the nice folks

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Well now mr. Smith, how does this little beauty suit you?

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Well, it's not so little nonsense

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Just the right size for the little lady to do all the shopping and it's lovely color coordinated interior

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luxury carpeting

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But a smaller car would be easier to handle handles like a charm. Yes power steering power brakes

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windows

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Power seats

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Can we get out now certainly I was just about to show you the hideaway windshield wipers

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retractable antenna

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retractable seat belts

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Notice the chrome character line down the side of the car to prevent those nasty little cuts and scrapes at the supermarket

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We have sequential turn signal indicators

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This year's hottest color

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metallic

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cinnamon

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Notice the remote controlled mirror two coats of rust proof paint will keep it beautiful forever

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Nothing

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I

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I

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I

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I

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I

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Oh

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The magazines, the daily news, paper cartons, wrappers,

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bonds, the signs.

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Bonds for growing out some lovely pints

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that aren't alive today.

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Ta-da!

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And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have an ordinary cardboard

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box, right?

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Wrong.

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It's really a cereal box.

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It looks like an ordinary box.

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But when you open it up and you pour the magic milk inside,

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and then you take the magic spoon out,

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well, can't win them all.

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And then you empty the box.

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Easy, clever, convenient.

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And when you finish, you just throw it away.

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Ladies, are you tired of walking to the stores too many times?

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Then why don't you get the family size?

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Duh-ding.

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The super economy size.

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Ta-da!

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Wee!

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The extra large size.

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Ta-da!

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The incredible giant size.

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Ta-da!

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The bigger than life size.

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Ta-da!

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Woo!

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Or the incredible family year supply size.

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Oh!

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Well, let's see.

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We have our post toasties and our frosted flakes.

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And we have a little, what's it called?

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Grape nut, so great.

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And then we have frosted mini-wees.

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Look, if you have trouble making up your minds in the morning,

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you should take one of these great big variety packs.

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They may be difficult to choose, but look at all the pretty boxes

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you get to play with.

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There's more.

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There's this handy sweet pack.

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There's the old puffed rice.

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Here's some more little goodies.

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Wee!

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Oh, then we have our tricks.

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What'd you say?

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Don't forget the prize!

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You say prize.

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Of course we have to take the prize.

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Couldn't wait to have a valuable prize like that, can we?

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Seems to be very well wrapped in plastic there.

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Very well wrapped.

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Magic scissors will do it in a minute.

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Scissors!

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Oh, there.

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Scissors seem to be well wrapped in plastic.

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Well, you know, they...

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You bick with it.

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Plastic seems to be with us everywhere.

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As soon as I get it opened out of the scissors,

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I'll take the scissors and I'll take the...

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I'll get it.

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Don't worry.

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Why do they have to wrap these things so good?

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Oh.

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Why don't you go eat your frosted flakes?

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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I'm hungry.

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Angry at the country's

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In the middle

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Of Kennebunk

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Both are simply having

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Fun with junk

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To chase their gloom away

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Hello, I'm talking to you from America's number one trash pile.

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The dump, the town dump in Kennebunkport, Maine.

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This dump was made famous by the Kennebunkport Dump Association

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Formed a number of years ago by a group of interested citizens

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And I'd like to introduce you to the president of that august body

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Mr. Edward Mayo

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Ed?

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Oh, excuse me, sir.

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I was preoccupied with our mascot, Ricky Rat here.

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Welcome to our viewing area.

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I'd like to know something about how the organization is formed.

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About six years ago, we realized that going to the dump

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Was becoming a fast-disappearing segment of Americana

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And we wanted to preserve the idea that the family that disposes together

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Holds noses together.

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Do you have officers and so on?

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Oh, yes, we have 40 members.

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Of course, I am president and the other 39 are executive vice presidents.

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And of course, we have a dump physician.

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That makes me very curious.

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What is it that the dump physician does?

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The dump physician is in charge of examination of trash

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So that proper gob can be stipulated as to dump picking, for instance.

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You've got to be properly got to prevent injury to your ankles.

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We've had people injured from the high-rise dump section here.

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The dump falls occur frequently because they climb the top of the section

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To retrieve a goody and the first thing you know, they're prostrate on the ground.

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Those things have to be guided against in a well-run dump organization.

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You seem to have an extremely detailed organizational structure.

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Could you tell us more about it?

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We have, for instance, an executive vice president in charge of the dump museum.

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And at the present time, he's custodian of our large collection of dump art.

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And I'd like to have you meet him now.

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This is Ted Fales, who is in charge of the dump museum.

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And he's assembling for you the trash kebab, one of the features of our permanent collection.

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The piece which he is holding is called a crud bug.

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And that is constructed by our organization and exists entirely upon roadside litter.

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Ted, it's very nice to see you.

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Very nice to see you.

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Could you tell us something about this interesting object that you're holding on your lap?

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I believe it's called a crud bug.

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It's an example of the art that comes along from objects found here in the dump

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and why we are forging ahead at great speed with our proposed plans for a large museum in our beloved dump.

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We hope to have it in the shape of a pentagon, since that seems to be the shape of things most suitable for dumping.

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And we hope within the next 50 years to have the necessary funds to build it.

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That's very interesting.

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The trash kebab, which is waving around in front of us, also fascinates me.

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Is this part of the museum or is this part of the dump gourmet exhibition?

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Well, frequently our exhibits are combined with more necessary functions, and this is an example of form following function.

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It followed the function by about two days.

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It also will be one of the few museums in the world where people can take things from.

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Most museums you can give things to, and that's the end of it.

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But being located in the dump, people have a choice of bringing or leaving objects,

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which will be an exciting first, I think, for everyone.

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I see. Well, that's almost interesting.

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I'd like to know, though, is this museum eligible for government funds?

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Oh, yes. We've applied to the National Endowment for the Arts and Humanities three years ago

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and have never even heard from them as a result of our application.

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I find that extraordinary.

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President Mayo, in connection with this go-ahead dump program that you have,

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do you have any plan for innovation and invention?

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The most cogent thing we have right now is a four-way rat trap,

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which was originated by this organization and is in the custody of our dump inventor,

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the executive vice president in charge of continuing education and dumpology.

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And I think now I'll step over and have a look at this contraption.

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This is a four-way trap, which was designed by the Pied Piper Rat Trap and Cribbage Board Company,

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which is a subsidiary, and that's a hard word to say, I must say, isn't it, Paul,

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a subsidiary of our organization.

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First of all, we have for the recording of the catch a mink-trimmed cribbage peg.

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And in order to utilize this trap for nighttime dumping,

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we have a light, which will be activated subsequently.

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We have also a bell, which will awaken the trapper should he doze off on the job.

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Initially, however, we install on this ivory cocktail pick a piece of genuine lobster,

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and we have a caviar bait pan lid.

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Now, when the rat activates this thing, the clobber bar will descend and dispatch him

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in the fashion that you see here.

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The light flashes, the bell rings, the trapper is awakened,

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the flag of the organization arouses him in a certain pride,

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and he pegs off the trap rat right here, you see.

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And this lanyard, of course, is attached to pieces of heavy trash

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so that it will not be airborne under the influence of gulls.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I can produce for you.

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I'm your servant. I can produce if I only had a little more room.

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Shazam!

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Shazam!

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Abracadabra?

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You again.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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00:24:08.220 --> 00:24:09.200
Shazam.

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Shazam.

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00:24:11.600 --> 00:24:12.320
Shazam.

295
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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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Shazam.

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When you eat a cone and say Shazam, you're a real magician, not a fake,

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and you see it's possible to make a package go away.

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Cycling is taking materials that have been used once

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and then breaking them down again so that they can be used again.

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It bothered me what was happening to the world and the environment.

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If we start out by recycling, then maybe it will give people the idea for bigger changes.

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I'm going to go to the bathroom.

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So recycle everything you can.

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If we use resources more than twice,

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sinking under trash will be a price we'll never have to pay.

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I'm going to the bathroom.

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I'm going to the bathroom.

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I'm going to the bathroom.

